Imagine 4 year old ben fascinated/scared of a monster in a hood speaking to him. His parents say its all in his head. And they’re right, it is all in his head, but its not a child’s imagination.
Imagine Ben sitting on his mother’s lap during her meetings as a general, being carried on trips in the Millennium Falcon with his dad. And Ben never understanding why one day they stopped bringing him to work.
Imagine Ben excitedly saying to his parents “I’m going to Jedi, like Uncle Luke” before he leaves with a smile on his face, although the entire time he doesn’t want to go.
Imagine Ben letting the younger girls mess with his hair and he’d have to walk around with these little braids and buns all day while he watched them for his uncle luke. Older boys mocked him for the ridiculous hairstyles, but he preferred it over the taunts involving his large ears.
Imagine 7 year old Ben afraid to go to his Uncle Luke to tell him about his nightmares when a man in a cloak speaks to him.
Imagine Luke seeing a different person in his nephew’s place, sad,distant, scared, and easily angered and frustrated. He wonders if the smiley, energetic, take charge kid (so like his mother and father) is still there.
Imagine Chewie showing up to visit his nephew and seeing a sad little 12 year old with bags underneath his eyes that doesn’t smile like he used to. He wouldn’t even smile the same even when Chewie would let Ben win holochess or carry him on shoulders like he used to when returning with Han from a job.
Imagine 14 year old Ben scared and alone looking for help in his family that he can’t seem to find when he needs them. Uncle Luke was always busy with another Padawan, his parents left him on a different planet, and he hasn’t seen his Uncle Chewie in years. But the only person who he did find, was the same man in his nightmares, offering help.
Imagine 15 year old Ben depending on Lord Snoke for love, guidance, a relationship, he hasn’t had in years; while the entire time Snoke is manipulating him into depending on him and filling his head with stories of his legendary grandfather. A slave who turned into the powerful Sith Lord, known as Darth Vader, and proved a person’s past doesn’t dictate their future.
Imagine Ben being molded into Snoke’s puppet, a depressed, scared, and unstable boy. Never to know what little was left of Ben Solo and the person Snoke wished him to be.
Imagine Ben never growing from this depressed boy, letting the anger and sadness take over him, all because Snoke promises it will all make him stronger in the end.
Imagine 16 year old giving into Snoke’s promises of glory, to be like his Grandfather, when he loses all hope in the light.
❛ the two don’t go hand in hand? i’d think you’d have to be somewhat fond of me to tolerate me. otherwise what reason would you have for tolerating anyone? ❜
❝ make no mistake, GIRL, i could end your life right now without blinking. ❞
he knows better than to intrude any further, especially after one of his infamous FITS. an almost exasperated huff escapes his lips, darling to lean against the wall next to him rather than make any sigh of a departure.
❝ - & i would have thought you’d find a way to CALM yourself without breaking things
❞
he’s ENRAGED at the intrusion. he doesn’t bother deactivating his saber as he whirls around to face the trespasser. despite the fact that it would not be seen, a vicious SNARL forms on his lips and he strides forward, leaving just enough distance between the two of them so that he could extend his saber toward the other THREATENINGLY.
❝ LEAVE. ❞ he has NO tolerance for those that don’t obey him, especially not NOW, after the things that have transpired.
his chest heaves up and down as he struggles to regain himself after the TWISTED catharsis he has demonstrated. strangely, destroying the things around him didn’t anger him any LESS. so when he hears the door behind him slide open, he clenches his jaw, barely glancing over his shoulder to acknowledge the INTRUSION.
❝ you’re NOT supposed to be in here. ❞ his voice comes out as a growl, and even without the modifier on his mask, it would’ve sounded intimidating. he wasn’t in a merciful mood, and whoever had trespassed was going to have a bad day, unless they left very, VERY soon.
long fingers curl around the hilt of the saber and RAGE burns bright in his chest. he can FEEL it, fighting to CONSUME him. he HATES that he can’t control it; hates that it is IMPOSSIBLE for him to keep hidden (like a face behind a mask). with a swift flick, the saber’s blade meets durasteel. sparks fly as contact is made, but he’s too concentrated on doing as much DAMAGE as possible in an attempt to liberate the VEXATION that plagues him.
your son is GONE.
a frustrated GROWL escapes his throat, sounding distorted through the mask’s voice modifier. he wants to FORGET the past- he wants to move FORWARD.
he was WEAK, like his father.
FATHER. just the thought was enough for his free hand to outstretch and throw a few chairs towards the transpari-steel that plated the windows before him. a new rage ignited in him and random objects go flying without much effort on his part. he didn’t HAVE a father. the man he’d just killed wasn’t his FATHER. he was a TRAITOR.
so i DESTROYED him.
another ENRAGED shout escapes his chapped lips and he swings again, watching as the computer screen before him FINALLY stops glowing. despite the CHAOS that swirls in his chest and threatens to take him, he gets a strange, yet INSIGNIFICANT, feeling of SATISFACTION at this task.
ben solo was DEAD. kylo ren had made SURE of that. he thought that killing ben’s father would’ve been enough to let the darkness CONSUME him.
yet he STILL felt it- the light BECKONING to him, BEGGING him to come home. he could see his mother’s WARM eyes, his father’s OPEN arms.
NO.
he COULDN’T go back. it was too LATE for that. he had to finish his MISSION, he had to make snoke PROUD. and he would do WHATEVER it took to fulfill it.
I am 18, however, I'm not comfortable with smut. I just don't feel comfortable writing it. Please don’t ask me to write it with you.
I won’t be on all the time because of school. I’m currently trying to find a college and get my life in order. I also have a few other blogs and I don't always have muse for certain ones.
I live in the EST time zone.
I won’t, under any exception, roleplay with those who don’t read my rules. Just saying.
Just know, I give molasses a run for its money when it comes to replies. I’m uber slow with things like this.
FOLLOWING/THREADS/EXCLUSIVITY
This blog is moderately selective. I’m reasonably selective with who I follow back, and I only roleplay with mutuals.
Both mutuals and non mutuals can send in memes that I reblog.
I am OC friendly, but I’m pretty selective with the OC’s I roleplay with.
If you want to roleplay with me, there are several ways to go about it. Message me. I promise I’m not going to bite you for asking! I love to plot. You can also answer my starter/plotting calls or answer my opens.
I’m also crossover friendly, but only with fandoms I’m familiar with. There may be rare cases in which I roleplay with fandoms I don’t know, but I’d have to have at least a general knowledge before jumping into it.
I usually don’t roleplay with animated characters. I may make an exception if I can find comic icons of kylo. However, I don’t watch anime, so I have no knowledge of any of them whatsoever.
I’m not an exclusive blog, but that doesn’t mean I am opposed to it. If you’d like me to be exclusive with you, we can discuss it! Just know that if I do become exclusive with your muse, it’s a two way street.
PLEASE don’t godmod. Nobody on this website likes it- including me.
SHIPPING
I ship kylo with chemistry. However, I’m actually sort of selective with shipping. Don’t let that scare you off! If you want to ship, let me know, because honestly, I probably ship it too.
I won’t be threading any romantic relationships unless it has been plotted first. I would also feel comfortable if we have interacted a bit before (a thread or two, memes, etc.)
I see kylo as heterosexual.
TRIGGERS
Personally, I have no triggers. But, there may be a few dark themes on here. However, I will tag them.
PLEASE tag your nsfw (and by that, I mean sexual photographs/gifs/videos.) I don’t want to see that because it makes me highly uncomfortable. I have it blacklisted, so if you tag it, I don’t see it. I know we all forget sometimes, so if you do, I’ll try to shoot you a message. However, if you don’t tag it after I’ve asked, then I’ll unfollow.
If I fail to tag your triggers, please message me. I need to know if I forget so that I can fix the problem. The last thing I want to do is make anyone uncomfortable. Roleplaying is meant to be fun, not stressful!
MISC
Thank you for taking your time to read all of these! I really appreciate it!
